Anything is Possible

Любовь зла, полюбишь и козла

(Russian idiom which means: Anything is possible when it comes to love, you don’t get to choose who you fall in love with)

The first thing that attracted me when I saw David’s face on my phone’s screen was his pale skin. I know, it sounds the complete opposite of attractive, but I have always found myself attracted to white Ashkenazi boys. David and I met online, and people always ask me how a dark-skinned Moroccan woman like me could look for someone who comes from such a different culture with different values. As a matter of fact, I have dated both types of men - Ashkenazim and Sephardim. David, and I suppose the Ashkenazim, won this battle.

Our first date took place on November 22^nd. It was wintery outside, the snowfall looked so delicate from the restaurant’s windows from which we were dining. It was the best date I could ever ask for. I started running the scenes from the beginning of that night in my mind, I could conclude it then.

“You are such a gentleman, you know?” I asked rhetorically.

David chuckled, showing his wide, beautiful smile. He barely looked me straight in the eyes and I found that to be respectful. His shyness was such a great quality and it led me to compare this type of man to all the bold Sephardim men I have dated before.

“Why do you think that?” he asked me back.

“Well, you don’t see men holding the door for their date anymore, do you? Nor paying the whole bill, or opening the car door for them…” I sipped from my drink, impatiently awaiting his reply.

“I don’t know who you dated Rachel, but all of I did so far on this date are actions that are obvious to me and are supposed to be done, this is what my mom taught me anyway.” I could listen to him for days.

David asked me so many questions in order to get to know me, and he listened curiously to whatever I said. He wanted to know it all, and I could see he was making the calculations in his head. For everything I said he did the one plus one equals who he thinks I am. I did not mind it, I thought it showed that he cares and “that is what Russians are like,” or so I was told. Our expectations were met each moment we spent together, and I was not scared of our differing values, he made me curious and passionate about our differences, especially when he helped me put my coat back on when we left the restaurant.

I stopped counting our dates because we found ourselves together almost every day. We decided to spend our Friday night together for the first time. I am observant, quite religious actually, and David is pretty secular, but we promised to try and respect each other when it comes to religion. This Friday night was incredible. I cooked my special, hot Moroccan fish before Shabbat started. David always said that he loves spicy food, but nothing really prepared him for this one.

He wiped his mouth and said: “the seasoning you used for this fish is nothing I have ever experienced in my life.”

I laughed out loud, “I did hear that Russian food barely contains any seasoning, and that’s not even talking about the spiciness!” I joked, while removing the plates from the table and carrying them to the kitchen. While putting the plates in the sink I heard David’s ringtone. He picked up and began to speak Russian. This was my first time hearing David speak it. It was not the first time I have heard Russian, but this time I actually listened. When he spoke it, the language was nothing like any other I knew nor heard before, and I could not understand anything. I tried to relate the words to other words that sounded the same but nothing of what he said sounded familiar or associative.

I washed the two plates and then I returned to the table, David had just finished the call and said, “My mom really wants to meet you.” He did not look at me while saying this but instead looked at the table, trying to stick the bread crumbs to his finger.

“Oh!” I was ecstatic, “that was your mother on the phone?” But of course this was his mother on the phone, she is the only person to whom he speaks Russian.

“I would love to meet her, David” I finally managed to say back.

“I told her we will come tomorrow, it will be her birthday too” he said back, this time raising his gaze to catch my reaction.

“Tomorrow?!” Yay!!” I showed him a wide smile and happy eyes that I couldn’t hide, I was thrilled. I was going to meet his mother!

We ended our Friday night breathing heavily in bed, I laid my head on David’s chest- resting after another great love-making. While I was trying to catch my breath, I grasped his arm firmly, not wanting to let this amazing man walk out of my life.

I woke up to the sound and touch of a kiss on my cheek. I turned around to look at David smiling at me, “good morning,” he said.

“Good morning” I smiled and put my arms around his neck, pulling him closer for round three.

We got up to get ready to meet David’s mother, Anna, and we decided to stop at the flower shop down the street. When we walked inside the store, David let me pick the flowers that I thought to be the most beautiful.

“Give me twelve of these, please” I said pointing at the purple Verbenas. “A dozen of these would make a beautiful bouquet, right?” I said quietly, looking up at David.

“Ah, please make it eleven” he said to the old lady, waving at her and she nodded, taking one out of the bouquet she was already holding.

“What? Why eleven?” I chuckled, trying to understand what the problem was.

“It’s…It’s stupid, but Russians don’t give someone an even number of flowers. You would do that only if it is meant for a funeral” He said with an embarrassed half smile, handing the money to the cashier.

While walking to Anna’s house I wondered if there were any other funny superstitions like the one with the flowers, but I guess this was part of the beauty of how different we are.

Anna’s house was in the third floor of an old, four story building. We stepped up the stairs and when we reached to the door I searched for David’s hand and pressed it. Anna opened the door with a big welcoming smile, she did not approach to hug me but instead extended her hand to shake mine. I shook her hand and passed her the flowers I was holding, wishing her a happy birthday. She grabbed the bouquet and smiled, “Aw, you really did not have to” she stared at the flowers for a moment as if she was counting them.

“Here, let me take your coat” David said from behind me, while I was looking around the house.

The house was not big, and the first thing I noticed was David’s grandmother who lived there with Anna, sitting in the living room corner, sewing something furry. Behind her there was a long wall covered with a gold vintage wallpaper with old alike, white flowers. On this wall hanged about sixty or so different decorative plates with different drawings on them. Flowers, Moscow maps painted in different ways, angels, leaves. Next to this wall there was a tall, glass-door cabinet which contained tiny, pearl colored tea glasses and a black and white photo of a beautiful young man. The house looked old with vintage furniture but very unique in its own way.

“Meow…” I heard suddenly, and looking down I saw a beautiful white hairy cat rubbing himself against my ankles.

David’s grandmother did not speak the language, so with everything she said I found myself turning to David for translation.

David laughed and said, “She said you are as beautiful as an Egyptian princess.”

I could feel my cheeks begin to redden, but I managed to say “spasiba,” as this was the only word I knew how to pronounce in Russian, and it means thank you.

While they were all laughing at my thick accent we walked to the dining table which was already perfectly set. I looked at all the food that was waiting, it looked so different from what my family makes. Even the smell was strange. I could see cabbage rolls stuffed with meat, rice, two types of soups and several kinds of salads with mayonnaise topping all over them. No tracks of oil, red seasoning or spiciness.

“Wow, thank you so much for all of this Anna” I said while taking a seat.

“We are very happy to finally meet you” Anna said back with a thick accent. It was obvious she is Russian and not only by her speech. Anna had beautiful blue eyes and a thick blonde hair tied with a red velvet hair band. She had extremely long nails painted in purple.

“Baruch ata Adonai eluheynu melech Ha-olam, She-hakol nehiya bedvaro” David’s grandmother said the partial blessing and I smiled, although I could not really hide my shock, and then we all replied with “amen”.

Anna told me that her mother is quite observant too, even though she did not remember the whole blessing for Shabbat dinner except for this part. I did not see this coming, I did not know that any observant Russians still existed. Usually they are the complete opposite of religious, but this old lady did not forget her roots. I nodded to her with a smile of appreciation for making the alleged cultural barrier vanish, if even for a moment.

“Here Rachel, have some of our famous Golumpki” Anna said as she moved the cabbage rolls closer to me. I took some and surprisingly it was not bad at all, just different.

“Thank you, everything is really good- I have never had Russian food before.”

“I am very glad you like it” Anna said back and then added “so, what do you do for a living Rachel?”

David put down his fork and moved his hand on my lap.

“Well, I will finish my English degree next year, I am willing to teach in high schools,” I smiled to her as I replied.

“How lovely, sounds like a decent plan…Maybe you should consider applying for a job in the High-Techs offices, I am sure they provide a better salary.”

I cleared my throat and nodded, “maybe.”

“David listened to me when I told him he should go study mechanical engineering over traveling and look how well he is living now. He has his own car and apartment…”

“Mom…” David interrupted her.

“What? It is important to aspire highly” Anna said back, wiping her mouth gently with a napkin.

“Oh, I certainly agree” I sipped from my drink, I was not going to tell Anna that where I come from, doing what you love is more valuable than how much money you will be making and I think that is what David liked about me the most. I was different from him, in every way. My parents never pushed me to aspire so highly because getting just what we need and not necessarily want was enough.

“Thank you again Anna, this was a pleasure” David and I were standing next to the door, ready to leave. I hugged David’s grandmother because this is how Moroccans show respect and love, and although she did not hug me back, her eyes expressed love.

David and I held hands on our way back, I felt happy and satisfied and David supported this feeling.

“Thank you, Rachel, for being so amazing and patient with them” he said as caressing my hand with his thumb.

“David, I had such a great time. It was different from the big and noisy dinners we have with my family, but I love it. Knowing we both accept and respect one another no matter how different our backgrounds are is what important to me.”

David stopped to hug me, kissing my forehead and then looking straight in my eyes, “I love you,” he said with no hesitation.

“I love you too” I said with wet eyes and a large smile.

Who knew love has such power of coinciding two distinct individuals from two different worlds to one mutual accepting reality.

David and I got married two years later, on November 22^nd, our wedding was everything we wished it to be with Ashkenazim and Sephardim dancing and laughing together. An even number of flowers decorated the beautiful garden our wedding took place in, and two different cultures became one in the name of love.

-The End-